The purpose of this blog is to officially (and publicly, so there is no going back) let go of my anger.
Two winters ago, I was giving a lecture to my abnormal psychology class about how unexpressed anger can manifest in a myriad of ways.
One of my students asked, "Professor, what do you do with your anger?"
For the first time in 17 years, I was silenced by a question. I simply stood and stared at the student, open-mouthed.
I thought I did a GREAT job of keeping my outrage under wraps.
Apparently not. At least to one person.
"How many others?" I wondered, when -- much later -- I regained my faculties.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
At times, late at night, I wonder if there is anyone out there; if anyone is really listening or if ANYONE actually cares.
After 10 years of working with the criminally insane and 20 years working with college students (two groups with more in common than one might suspect), I wonder how many people I've actually helped? How many have come away from their time with me somehow better, happier, inspired? Most of what I remember is the recidivism and the negative feedback and the jealousy-fueled battles with my colleagues.
And the lawsuits. Oh, the lawsuits.
There is one student who told me she stayed in college and wants to be a psychologist because of her time in my classes. This should be flattering; however, I despair over someone wanting to follow in my footsteps. It's been a rough road.
Maybe I'm just depressed.
The psychologists say that depression is anger turned inward and so now I arrive at my point:
Welcome. Welcome to my blog.
It's taken two years and devastating loss to answer my student's question. The answer is:
(Now), I let it go.
In this blog, I let go of my anger. I let go of the injustices, the insults, the injuries and the ignorance I have allowed to block my path for far too long. A sort of spiritual enema, if you will.
Over the course of the next 365 days, I will let go of (at least) 100 things that have/are pissed/pissing me off.
Lest you think that 100 is a lot, there are 535 people* that are pissing me off right at this very moment.
Lest you think that 100 is a lot, there are 535 people* that are pissing me off right at this very moment.
For the record: The birthday of this blog is January 1, 2010, which is exactly three months, three weeks and one day after The Moment.
Confidential to ST, soon-to-be SC: Thank you for the encouragement to write a blog. Yours was the straw that broke the back of my rectal-cranial inversion.
*Note. There are 535 people in the US Congress.
Happy New Year.
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